There once was a boy on a hike he passed by a waterfall it was yellow he thought it was weird but he didn’t think of it, but little did he know this heavily was the worst thing that could happen to him. After he was done with his hike he couldn’t find his car he figured someone stole it so he called a taxi, he was excited because he had never been in a taxi before. When he was in the taxi the taxi driver almost crashed. He was scared. When he got home more bad things started happening.
Your story has made me think of lots of questions. Why was the waterfall yellow? (Was it like paint, or more like an apple-juice kind of yellow?) Why was it ‘heavily’ the worst thing that could happen to him? What other bad things happened when the boy got home? Did he report his stolen car to the police? Did he ever get his car back?
I’m glad that the taxi didn’t crash, but I can understand why the boy would feel scared.
Well done for including all of the words in your story. I think ‘heavily’ was the only word that didn’t really make sense where it was put. Perhaps the boy could have fallen off his bike and landed heavily on the hard ground?
Michelle, Team 100wc,
Melbourne, Australia