One day a 12-year-old girl named Luisa Madrigal went to a carnival with her seven year old sister. She saw a game that immediately mesmerized her. It was as if it screamed “I am yours”. It said in clear bold letters TEST YOUR STRENGTH! She grasped the mallet in her hands. She swung. The mallet made a noise when it hit the platform. Everybody watched in awe as the little ball swung off the carnival game and it flew. Everybody was yelling at her for breaking the game. “But I didn’t mean to hit it that hard!” Louisa said defensively.
Hi Caryska, your piece was absolutely amazing! One thing I LOVED about your piece was the detail! Every move the character made was described perfectly! It felt like I was there! Your story also reminded me of the amazing Disney movie 🌟Encanto🌟 because I am pretty sure the “Strong One” was name Luisa. One question I have is why is Luisa suddenly 12? Was this when she was younger?
Overrall great story! Happy writing!
~Aubrey from Illinois
hi caryska! i really enjoy your piece!
i loved how you used a character from a different show and created her a past! it was so amazing and intressting!
something maybe you can work on is; commas or semi-colons! it would make it more organized, etc! keep up the good work!
-gabi in illinois!<3